Love Extravagantly

About 3 years ago I read the Love Verses from Corinthians in The Message and one phrase popped out at me. I put it on a “post-it” on my mac’s widgets and it’s still there. It’s like this mantra that I keep coming back to:

“TRUST steadily in God;
HOPE unswervingly;
LOVE extravagantly.”

Love cannot be wasted. It must not be used sparingly. We will never run out, but only if we’re plugged into the source of Love. We can be Love-funnels. How amazing is God’s love for us?! I know Easter’s already come and gone this year, but the song I posted above just blows my mind every time I listen to it. The lyrics are astounding. Talk about extravagant love! Woah!

And speaking of ever-deepening love, how about another shout-out to this guy:

Could he BE any cuter?!

In about 10 days I head up to The Park and get to see him practically every weekend for 5 months. I am one lucky lady!

The Year of the Bucket List

It seems like this is the year that I’m taking a stab at knocking out a number of items from my Bucket List.  This list is on-going and has some items that will likely never happen like standing on the moon.  I’m not worried about running out of things.  This is a big, beautiful world full of all sorts of magical things to discover and exciting things to do.  So far I’ve shaved my head, and in the next few weeks I’m probably going to be getting a tattoo with some of my good girlfriends.  This summer I’m hoping to take advantage of the opportunities offered via my job and ride in a helicopter, go white-water rafting (again) and who knows, maybe I’ll have some sort of adventure that will inspire the story I use to write and illustrate a children’s book!

The head-shaving went extremely well!  I was able to raise $810.00 total.  That’s an average of $81.00 a day!  I’m pretty impressed with my friends and everyone’s support and enthusiasm made it way more fun. As for the actual act of having my head shaved, I laughed the whole time.  It was such as surreal feeling!  It’s been really nice to cut the time it takes me to get ready in the morning in half.  And I’m going to save so much money on shampoo for a good long while.  At first my head felt kinda gross because it was just stubbly.  But over the past two weeks, as my hair has grown out, it’s gotten all soft and velvety.  I keep running my hand over my head and find myself absentmindedly petting myself while I’m waiting for the computer to process something or while I’m sitting in traffic or, well, anytime my mind has a chance to wander.

The week before I shaved my head, Ben and I got to spend 3 nights in Whittier for our anniversary. We ate really well, watched the Discovery Channel, read The Hobbit out loud to each other, explored the abandoned housing complex that Whittier is infamous for, and watched the crazy blizzard that enveloped us the whole time we were there.  This winter, Whittier has gotten something like 300 inches of snow!

We had originally planned to only stay 2 nights but my car wouldn’t start on the morning of our intended departure.  To make matters worse, there isn’t a mechanic in all of Whittier and of course there was all the snow blowing around in every direction.  The inn-keeper took a good long look at my car, but wasn’t able to diagnose the problem.  We ended up having to get a friend to drive out with a car-trailer from the U-Haul to bring my dead car back to Anchorage and to the shop.  The drive back took even longer than usual because the road was closed periodically so the preemptive avalanche-triggering crew could do their thing.  By the time we got my car to the shop on Thursday it was too late for them to be able to fit it onto the list. They said I’d be first in line the next day.

On Friday, when I still hadn’t heard back from them by 10am, I called them up.  They still had the car in the shop and hadn’t come to any conclusions.  After another 3 hours I called them back.  The mechanic was sitting with my paper-work trying to pluck up the courage to call me with the tragic news:  my timing belt was off and needed replacing, and the head-gaskets were in pretty bad shape too.  All in all, it would cost me $3,000.00  to get Lola back up and running.  I paid her previous owner half that sum when I first got her almost 3 1/2 years ago.  So I cried, Ben held me, and that was that.  The end of Lola.  The (relatively) good news is that I was able to sell her for $75.00 and got $100.00 from the same person for the extra set of rims I have for her.

All in all, this isn’t the most devastating news in the world.  I had been planning to start saving up my pennies in the hopes of being able to afford a new car in the fall when I return from my time in The Park.  Now I can still do that, and I won’t have to spend money on car insurance and gas while I’m trying to save up this summer.  I’m not really going to need a car once I’m out there, and until then, I’m borrowing my roommate’s car this month while she’s out of town.  That leaves about a week or so where I’ll be able to bike/walk/bum rides until I have to be out in Denali.  And the folks at work are super supportive about helping me to find a way up there.  Some how, some way, God’s got this whole thing under control.

Oh, one last thing:  Ben and I haven’t seen each other since I got my head shaved.  I sent him a photo, but I really want to get one of the two of us bald together.  So I’ve been playing with the idea of taking a razor to my head and last night I got one of my friends to give me a bit of a mohawk.  I looked alright, but because we used an electric razor with a guard on it, it didn’t have quite the effect I was hoping for.  So this evening I took up my razor and got to working:  I’m so lucky to be able to work at a place that lets me get away with stuff like this!

Bald is Beautiful!

I just wanted to update the Blog-o-Sphere on my fundraising efforts:  I am currently only $170.00 away from my goal of $500.00.  I’ve still got 9 days to go and am seriously considering raising my goal!

I am so blown away by the generosity and support of my friends, family, and co-workers.  I’ve always known that I’m surrounded by awesome people, but to see it in action like this is so humbling and quite moving.  You are such special people and I am so grateful to have you in my life. I know how much of  a sacrifice it is to find extra room in your budget for things like this, and yet it seems like every time I log into my St. Baldrick’s account another friend has given a donation.

I must admit that a lot of the initial excitement is giving way to nerves.  I’m starting to worry about silly things like the shape of my head and the little stereotype-boxes strangers will put me in when they see my naked head.  But those thoughts are swiftly blown away when I think about all the love and encouragement I’m getting from people literally around the world.  And ultimately I think, “It’s just hair, right?  It’ll grow back.”  I mean, I’ll get my hair back in a few months.  So many parents aren’t going to get their kids back this year because of this awful, distressing disease.  Guys, cancer sucks!  Thank you so so so much for helping to get us one step closer to finding a cure once and for all.

If you’re still interested in checking up on my efforts and/or seeing before & after photos, HERE’S the link to my St. Baldrick’s page.

I’m shaving my head!

No really… I am!

Well, technically the shaving will be done by a total stranger.  In 10 days I will be participating in the annual Saint Baldrick’s Foundation’s fundraiser.  I will be a shavee.  The whole point of the event is to raise support for research into cures and treatments for childhood cancers.  Each of the shavees is asked to come up with a reasonable fundraising goal.  With only 10 days, I tried to be optimistic and yet still realistic.  So I’m shooting for $500.00.  In the past 16 hours, I’ve already been able to raise $85.00  I’d say that’s pretty good.  If I average $50.00 a day then I’ll reach my goal.

If you’d like to find out more information (like where the money goes) and/or to donate, you can go HERE to see my personal page.

I’ll continue to give updates on here and I’ve also created a Facebook Event that you’re welcome to join/check out.  I will also be posting photos of the results on both my blog and FB.

Thanks for your support!  It means the world to these families!!!

Something Witty

At first I thought I’d do a snappy little bullet-pointed update, but I’m way too wordy for that.  So take a moment to brew yourself a cup of tea and settle into a comfortable chair:

First off:  Correction on my “Year to Remember” post:  I was getting ahead of myself when I said Ben would join us in SC for Christmas.  It was equal measures of wishful thinking on my part, and his expressed interest in joining us.  Circumstances created a different trip and in the end I’m actually glad he didn’t come along.  I only had 3 days with my entire family and the trip back was HORRIBLE!!!  Those 3 days were super precious and would’ve taken on a whole different tone if Ben had been there.  Not necessarily a negative thing, just different.  This way “Paynter Christmas” got to be just that and not merely “Everyone gets to meet Ben”.

In that same post I mentioned that I was offered a position as a Stage Manager at a summer stock theater in PA.  For a long time I was all set on going, but within the space of 36 hours – after lots of mulling and stressing and a frantic phone-call to Ben – my mind was totally made up to turn down the offer.  Basically I can’t afford to go.  I have to pay my own way there and the salary is really not great.  So I’d essentially be going down there to earn the cost of my ‘plane ticket with a paltry little bonus.  I’m surprisingly not as crushed as I thought I might be.

I love my job.  Can I just say that again?  I LOVE my job!  I was thinking about it this morning and I’ve never had a job that I’ve been THIS happy at.  Sure I had a blast working onChristmas with a Capital “C” but in some ways that wasn’t real.  The actual work that I do can be challenging (in a really satisfying way).  There’s variety: there’s a good dose of mind-numbingly boring data entry and filing; and also some brain-stretching problem solving and spreadsheet-interpreting.  My official titles are “Accounts Payable Clerk” and “Off-Season Night Auditor”.

More than the actual, physical work that I do, I love my job because I get to work with really awesome people.  Perhaps it’s because they’re mostly accountants and are therefore nerds like me.  There’s such a great vibe in our office.  There seems to be this perfect balance between hard work and goofing off.  The work gets done and it gets done well and thoroughly, but there’s also a lot of times when we’re standing around talking about random stuff and there’s a lot of laughing!  And then on another level, we all work for a pretty great company.  I’ve worked for a big corporation before and I hated it.  I swore I’d never do it again.  The company I currently work for is internationally big.  Without saying names or anything, This Company works with hotels, stadiums, colleges/universities, major events etc etc.  Each “profit center” operates independently of the others, but we all answer to Corporate HQ on the East Coast.  They employ thousands of people, and yet I feel like an individual.  I feel like my efforts are recognized and that my efforts matter.  Every month we have and employee appreciation lunch, and yesterday the Big Kahuna in our office took us all to the Fur Rondy Carnival for an hour.  They paid for us to go on a couple rides and even bought us funnel cake.

Want to know another thing I love about working for This Company?  They support the idea that we have lives outside the office.  I know a lot of this has to do with who my immediate supervisor is and less to do with the company itself, but I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to take time away from work to pursue my theatrical passions too.  I got to take a week off to go to MN last year and they were all set to let me leave for the summer (our busiest season) to go to PA.  I mean, they were willing to hold my job for me!  Crazy!

Actually, my amazing job was one of the motivating factors that aided in my decision to not go to PA.  See, there’s a lot of room to grow in This Company.  I’ve been encouraged to learn as much or as little as I want.  I’ve been encouraged to look around and see what the different jobs are here in our Alaska Division and to ask questions.  So that got me thinking and I realized how much I enjoy doing the night audit.   It’s really simple in the off-season, so it got me thinking about what the summer audit would be like.  I asked around and as it turns out, they’re creating a new position on the Summer Auditing Team and it sounds like I’ll be a perfect fit for it!  I submitted my formal application and while the job isn’t 100% mine, I’m pretty hopeful that it is.  There are so many great things about the job.  The #1 thing is that I’ll be spending 5 months up in The Park which puts me just 2 hours from Fairbanks!!  It’s also just over 2 hours from Talkeetna so I’ll hopefully get to go out to The Cabin more than just once.  This sounds like such a “me” job.  I’ll be doing a lot of research, problem solving, and practical math (my favorite kind).  A really unique thing about the position is that my work will mostly be independent, but I’ll also be working with a variety of people as my job will involve a number of different departments and elements.  Sounds like a great job for a people-liking introvert like me.

As you may have figured out from my excitement about being closer to Fairbanks, Ben and I are still very much together.  We’re about 17 days away from the 1 year anniversary of our Official Coupledom!  Woo hoo!  And he’s arriving tomorrow for a visit.  The last time we saw each other was 2 1/2 weeks ago in Talkeetna.  It was so good on so many levels.  On our first night we had the Roadhouse to ourselves so we got to stay up late playing Dominion and went exploring around the building.

The night before we were supposed to head home we were going to drive out of town to look at the stars and hunt for the Northern Lights.  Unfortunately Ben’s truck was acting up, so the next morning I had to give him a jump start so we could take his car into the (only) auto-shop in town.  Just as we suspected, his truck couldn’t hold the charge, and so I had to use my little station wagon to push his huge truck to the shop.  My car is so low and his is so high that our bumpers didn’t meet.  So unless I was straight on behind him (so that my bumper pushed on the bit where the tow-hitch goes), I would be pushing on his back bumper with my headlights.  Well not only did we totally pass the turn off for the shop because of the huge snow-piles (and me not being able to see a darn thing with my view totally obscured by his tail-gate), when I got him into the yard, we had to wiggle the cars around without knocking into one of the many cars and/or snow machines scattered around the yard.  Despite the mechanic guiding me, I still crunched my headlight into Ben’s bumper and now the casing around it is totally smashed.   It WAS funny, tough!  AND we got to spend a whole extra day together because the mechanic had to wait for his contact to drive up from Wasilla with the new alternator before he could install it.  I didn’t even have to miss an entire extra day of work because I had my work computer with me and was able to work on a project remotely!  (Did I mention that I love my job?)

As for the world of theater:  I’m so ready for a break! I got totally stressed/burned out from going from show to show to show and overlapping a ton so I tried to back out of the show I was supposed to do from January through March.  I was able to compromise and got most of January off from my theater.  At the end of January I got roped into stage managing a “staged reading” that turned into a “script in hand performance”.  And we put the whole thing together in 4 evenings.  Instead of paying us a promised sum or getting us to do this on a strictly volunteer basis, they decided to split the profits from the Pay What You Can performance.  And I got paid the grand sum of $11.00 for my efforts.  Talk about a slap in the face!

As for the “compromise” on the other show goes: I only agreed because this was supposed be a really tech-light show and I don’t mind running the boards so much.  I agreed to be the Stage Manager for the performances only.  Well the show IS tech-light, but it’s uber prop heavy!  The show is set in a doughnut shop.  So of course there are hundreds of doughnuts, then there’s coffee, cups, plates, milk, etc etc.  And at the top of the show the place is supposed to look like it was vandalized.  So the furniture gets scattered (a job that I actually almost enjoy) and there’s offensive graffiti on one wall.  During the show, one of the characters paints two coats over the graffiti.  From a stage manager’s POV that means:  the graffiti will have to be re-written every night before the show.  Apparently in community theater that means:  the actor will use tempera paint in a color that doesn’t match the rest of the walls and the stage manager will have to scrub/wash the wall every night and then rewrite the graffiti.  Yup.  You read that right.  Every night I get to scrub the wall (even though I’m never going to be able to make the wall color match the other walls ever again without at least an hour or so of carefully redoing the paint treatment).

Ugh.

This is NOT what I agreed to do…  So tech week and opening weekend I was NOT a happy camper.  Things were made infinitely worse because of one particularly whiny diva and the crappy, demon-possessed sound-board.  And then THIS weekend it’s Fur Rondy so there is NO PARKING ANYWHERE downtown, and the street that I always use to get anywhere has been shut down and re-covered with a thick layer of snow for the ceremonial start of the Iditarod.  And may I remind you that said “ceremonial start” is only for one day… why they need to shut down Cordova for multiple days is beyond me… ugh.  So it takes me twice as long to get downtown because of the circuitous route I’m forced to take, and then I have to drive around in circles for at least 30 minutes to find parking that’s a minimum of 4 blocks away when there’s a number of perfectly decent parking spots right in front of the theater.

Ugh.

*sigh*

Now that I’ve figured out some short-cuts in the pre- / post-show routine I’m actually starting to enjoy myself.  After all, this is what I claim to be passionate about, isn’t it?  I DO like being a stage manager.  I do enjoy the work and the logistics.  I guess I just don’t like being told one thing and having the reality be quite different.  Ah well. Only 14 more performances to go.  Then I intend to NOT do theater until my return from The Park in the fall.  We’ll see how long it ACTUALLY is…

So on that note, I’ll sign off with a few photos from our Talkeetna trip:

A week (or so) in pictures

2011: A Year To Remember!

///JANUARY: /// Ring in the New Year with my family in South Carolina // Ben and I meet in person for the first time when I rescue him from the side of the Highway (he rolled his truck on the way to our original meeting spot) // Go back to work at The Corner Store // Walk the runway in two outfits for Object Runway Season 2 /// FEBRUARY: /// Go snowshoeing in Hatcher Pass with Ben // “I drove back home with snow-blindness, freezing rain, one headlight out, and my wiper blades only partially working!” // Attend my roommate’s “Pink Moustache Birthday Party” with Ben as my date /// MARCH: /// Spend the day as a Stylist on the set of an internal promotional video for Reebok // Continue working at The Corner Store // Ben and I officially become “a couple” /// APRIL: /// Spend more time with Ben // The Doppelganger Principle gets bumped to October // Working at The Corner Store starts to become unbearably awful // Start rehearsals for The Glass Menagerie /// MAY: /// The Glass Menagerie opens at Out North // Quit my job at The Corner Store // Ben comes to visit after a (very long) 6-week break // “I’d rather be exhausted than bored.” // I introduce Ben to the Blog-o-sphere with a Wacky Photo-Shoot: take photos around Anchorage wearing crazy clothes from the thrift store // The Glass Menagerie tours to Seward and Homer // I sleep in a yurt and find a starfish washed up on the beach /// JUNE: /// Ben and I take a 3 day backpacking trip along Kesugi Ridge // I get to visit Ben very briefly in Fairbanks for the first time since we started dating // I start working for a fantastic company called Aramark through a Temp Agency /// JULY: /// I summit Wolverine Peak and kill my big toe-nail coming down in the pouring rain // I continue to work for Aramark via The Opti Staffing Group // I fill in as the Stage Manager for The 25^th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee at Cyrano’s Theater // I start volunteering at the Alaska Workers’ Association // Ben goes to Washington, D.C. for a week for training for FEMA and spends his lay-overs with me in Anchorage /// AUGUST: /// I spend my birthday weekend at the cabin of my “Alaskan Parents” out in Talkeetna with Ben and my roommate too // Ben gives me a beautiful silver cross pendant necklace for my birthday // I get to work as a Script Supervisor on a short filmed titled The Devil And Danny Webber // I finally get to take my bicycle out for the first time all summer long and totally wipe out, taking all the skin off my knee and a large part of my elbow /// SEPTEMBER: /// Ben heads to Alabama for more FEMA training // Ben and I take a road-trip to the Kenai Peninsula to take cookies to a friend of a friend who injured his back when he fell off a house that he was helping to build on a mission trip // I introduce Ben to the concept of “car camping” // Ben leaves for a FEMA deployment to New York to help clean up after Hurricane Irene // Aramark officially hires me on from The Opti Staffing Group and start cross training so I go from being an Accounts Payable Clerk to being a Staff Accountant // Winter Bear goes into rehearsals /// OCTOBER: /// Winter Bear continues to rehearse and runs for one week as a part of the Annual Alaska Federation of Natives Convention // I make a blue, brown, and white plaid skirt suit in 2 days for our office Halloween party // I make the final payment on a credit card that I’ve been chipping away at for 3 years // The Doppelganger Principle gets put on hold indefinitely /// NOVEMBER: /// I spend a week in Minnesota as the Technical Director for a new work called Calling All Polar Bears // While in MN, I get to tour the Guthrie Theater, visit the Science Museum of Minnesota and have lunch with a good friend from college who recently moved from Alaska // I start rehearsals as the Stage Manager for Pinkalicious: The Musical // Ben returns (EARLY!!!) from New York and spends the whole of Thanksgiving week with me // I end up making/fixing/buying most of the props for Pinkalicious on top of running rehearsals, recovering from the stressful trip to MN, catching up at work, and the welcome distraction of having Ben back in town // I get offered a position as a Stage Manager for a summer stock theatre in rural Pennsylvania for next summer // I send in the very last payment on my very last credit card /// DECEMBER: /// Pinkalicious opens // I spend Christmas in South Carolina with my family // My family finally gets to meet Ben when he joins us in South Carolina // I come home from South Carolina to do the final performance of Pinkalicious and then the next day I head up to Fairbanks with friends // Ben and I take a trip out to the Chena Hot Springs to usher in the New Year while soaking in natural hot springs in  minus 40 degree temperatures with the Northern Lights dancing overhead